Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
