she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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