Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
