I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
