Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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