So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
