We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
