Moan for me like Helen Keller
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
