Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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