If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
