I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize