Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
