He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
