I wish I only lived at night.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
