I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
