You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
