HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
