its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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