apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
