i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
