Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize