I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
