Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize