i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Dear god my vagina.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
