hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
