to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
