Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
