he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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