did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
