ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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