I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
