Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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