It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
