Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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