dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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