Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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