MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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