he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
