Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Randomize
