Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i think i have two assholes
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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