CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
