Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
