So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
