They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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