Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
