I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize