I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I need a beard to bite.
I need water and some morals
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
