I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
