how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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