I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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