Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
