this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
