yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
