Me too!
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
