Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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