U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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