I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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