My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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