you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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