I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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